Cherry Cola Oreo

Product circa: spring 2018

This product was part of a poll product series along with Kettle Corn Oreo and Pina Colada Oreo Thins.

I have to commend Oreo for really getting weird with their flavors this time around, and this one sits on top as one of the craziest yet.  I love just about anything that's flavored like cola, so I was excited.

On the first bite you might get a taste of cherry that reminds you of cough medicine, but it quickly subsides.  What's next is the pleasant commercial cola flavor, probably the same type that's used for the gummy cola candies that you can find.

Not bad, right?  But wait!  These Oreos contain popping candy in the creme, just like the Firework Oreos!  Oh no!!

But it's too late.  Your mouth and throat start crackling and vibrating, and it lasts long after the swallow.  I guess Oreo wants to simulate the cherry cola's carbonation?  Some might like it, but I do not.  The flavor's enjoyable, though.

Cherry Cola Oreo:- Passable
Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Lay's Beer 'n Brats

Product circa: autumn 2017

I love chips that attempt to taste like meat, and I've had some pleasant beer-flavored chips before as well, so I went in with high hopes.

I wasn't disappointed.  I was intrigued enough after the first few bites to examine the ingredients list.  Prominent on the list is yeast extract.  In some forms you might know the stuff as Vegemite, but in this form it's simply a pale powder used to simulate the flavor of beer.  It's delicious.  Not only does it give the yeastiness that's reminiscent of beer, but it's also packed with umami flavor.

A curious addition to the ingredients list is cheese.  What?  After spending too long thinking about it, I decided to keep eating.  After eating way more than I should have, I realized that the cheese serves to add a dairy-like creaminess to the chips without making them taste cheesy.  This creaminess is very akin to the creaminess of a good bratwurst sausage.

All in all, the two ingredients in question result in something that, if at the very least approaches what it's like to each bratwurst and drink beer, is completely delicious.  A very clever effort from the food scientists, and something that I'd buy regularly if I saw it regularly.


Lay's Beer n' Brats:- Great
Original Lay's(for comparison): - Great

Pina Colada Oreo Thins

Product circa: spring 2018

This is the third product in the spring 2018 Oreo poll product segment.

I don't think I've said it before, but I absolutely love Oreo Thins.  I've always been of the school that the less Oreo creme, the better.  Double Stuf Oreo was never great to me, and you can read about my thoughts on Mega Stuf Oreo here, where I fantasized about an "Half Stuf" Oreo.

Well, Oreo Thin is here for good, and thank god.  The wafers are cracker-thin, and the creme is a light spread.  The cookies crumble in your mouth without needing to use teeth.  In my opinion, the balance is better.

Anyway, the smell of these things is decided buttery.  This may simply result from the butteriness of the coconut, but it's also possible that there is a bit of added butter flavor to the cookies.  On the bite, the coconut becomes immediately apparent, and it will take you a few chews to notice the pineapple.  These are pretty tasty, but they're much too sweet.  They're lacking a tanginess that would really elevate them into something unstoppable.

In the end, Oreo Thins Coconut is now a permanent product, and I would rather have those.

Pina Colada Oreo Thins:- Good
Original Golden Oreo Thins:- Great 

Gatorade Flow Watermelon Mist

Product circa: summer 2018

Gatorade Flow has existed as an off-shoot of Gatorade for a few years now.  Supposedly Gatorade Flow products taste or finish "smoother" than the original drink.  Personally, I notice no difference.  With that said, some of the other Flow flavors have tasted just fine.

This stuff tastes exactly as you'd expect: liquefied watermelon candy.  I can't detect anything additional that would make it taste unique.  It's too sweet.  If they made it a bit more tart, it'd be a more refreshing and unique product.

Gatorade Flow Watermelon Mist: - Passable
Original Gatorade(Orange, for comparison):- Good

Firework Oreo

Product circa: summer 2017 & 2018 (and future?)

Oreo is really ramping up their creativity... perhaps because they're running out of creme flavors?  Anyway, this time they've injected un-branded Pop Rocks into the creme.  Why?  Well, why not?

I find these to be quite unpleasant.  Despite the fact that the creme tastes more or less the same as usual, the textural and physical manifestations of these ruin the entire experience for me.

The bite is normal, but once you start chewing, your teeth will crunch down on the rocks in the creme and it will give you the sensation of chewing on sand.  As your saliva touches the rocks, they will start popping, giving you the expected sensation as if you were eating the popping candy normally.  However, because the rocks are suspended in creme, some of them won't begin popping until you swallow.  It is at that point when you will distinctly feel the popping in the middle of your head, going down your throat.  I can almost feel it in my skull.  The sensation is unique and quite uncomfortable.

Even with the worst Oreos, I'll go back for another to relish in the disaster.  Not so with these.  Eating them is so unnerving that I can't stomach (or "throat", rather) more than one or two.

Firework Oreo: 0 Noms - Unpleasant
Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Mountain Dew Mango Heat

Product circa: Autumn 2016

More and more you'll find that food companies are adding spicy touches to products for which they're otherwise inappropriate.  I find this trend mostly boring, and I wasn't exactly excited when I cracked open this bottle.

This product was issued as yet another Mountain Dew Game Fuel, in recognition of the release of Titanfall 2.

Mango is much like its strawberry, watermelon, and banana counterparts: the flavor used in candy and beverages bears very little resemblance to how its natural version actually tastes.  With that said, I'm fine with how "fake mango" tastes.

Your sip will start with a very pleasing fruity flavor before you soon realize that, as this is a modern Mountain Dew variation, it uses 0-calorie sweetener along with sugar.  It takes a swallow to discern the spiciness that's added to the drink.  It's not unpleasant, but it's also not pleasant.  After a few sips I really start to enjoy the "fake mango" flavor(despite the sweeteners), which is the same as any other mango soft drink.  It's enjoyable stuff, and it would have been refreshing in the right circumstance, if it weren't spicy.

But so long as Pepsico keeps adding silly sweeteners to new products, they'll never garner more than 2 NOMS.


Mountain Dew Mango Heat:- Good
Original Mountain Dew(for comparison):- Great 

Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreo

Product circa: Valentine's Day 2018

Nabisco, you monster!

Oreo has done it again, creating a variety of cookies that, when read about online, make you check the URL to make sure you're not on TheOnion.com.  If the junk food market segment were motorsports, Oreo would be the king of drifting, constantly skirting the line between traction and complete disaster.

This time they've seemed to use the common theme of the color red to create a Valentine's Day treat using a chocolate cookie and creme flavored like Red Hots.  You can't make this stuff up.

How is it?  Freaking delicious.  A step-cousin of the Cinnamon Bun Oreo, this guy sports a chocolate cookie over vanilla, and a candy cinnamon flavor instead of the stuff you might find in a pie.  With a combination that sounds awful on paper, it works.  It's hard to explain or describe.  The creme is warming (only barely spicy) and strongly flavored, but the chocolate cookie takes your mind off of it so that it's not overwhelming.


Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreo:- Great

Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great