Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreo

Product circa: Valentine's Day 2018

Nabisco, you monster!

Oreo has done it again, creating a variety of cookies that, when read about online, make you check the URL to make sure you're not on TheOnion.com.  If the junk food market segment were motorsports, Oreo would be the king of drifting, constantly skirting the line between traction and complete disaster.

This time they've seemed to use the common theme of the color red to create a Valentine's Day treat using a chocolate cookie and creme flavored like Red Hots.  You can't make this stuff up.

How is it?  Freaking delicious.  A step-cousin of the Cinnamon Bun Oreo, this guy sports a chocolate cookie over vanilla, and a candy cinnamon flavor instead of the stuff you might find in a pie.  With a combination that sounds awful on paper, it works.  It's hard to explain or describe.  The creme is warming (only barely spicy) and strongly flavored, but the chocolate cookie takes your mind off of it so that it's not overwhelming.


Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreo:- Great

Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Kettle Corn Oreo

Product circa: Spring 2018

Shout-out to my girl Shannon for hooking me up with this!

Oreo is proving that quality and quantity isn't already a zero-sum game.  They're doing another trio of flavors for which consumers can vote.

One of new three flavors out this season is Kettle Corn.  For some reason, Oreo has decided to use pieces of puffed millet to simulate the texture of popped corn.  Maybe it's cheaper, or it fares better maintaining crispiness than corn when inside the creme?

Anyway, Oreo nails it again.  Upon first chomp, you'll taste a caramel-toffee note that makes you feel like you have a handful of caramel popcorn.  It's uncanny.  It's like you're at a baseball game with a box of Cracker Jacks.  You'll swear that you can feel the texture of the popcorn just by the flavor; the texture of this snack isn't extremely characteristic.  It's not mind-blowingly tasty, but again Oreo chooses an unique idea and executes the flavor to perfection.

Kettle Corn Oreo:- Great

Original Golden Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Red Velvet Oreo

Product circa: 2015

There's not much to say about this one.  I'm surprised it took so long for Oreo to make a red velvet version.  Red velvet cakes are essentially chocolate cakes with cream cheese frosting.

The cookie tasted the same to me, but my buddy swears that wafers had a different flavor from the original.  Beyond that, the creme had a buttery cream cheese taste that's absolutely delicious.  It's as good as the original, but in a different way.

Red Velvet Oreo:- Great

Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Frosted Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts

Product circa: mid-2016

We're a bit past the bacon craze, aren't we?  Don't mistake what I'm saying for disappointment, however.

You bite, and the first seconds afterwards all you can taste is brown sugar, reminiscent of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts, one of their most prolific varieties.  It's not nearly as sweet as you expect, probably to remind you that this aims to be a slightly savory product.

A few bites in, however, you'll notice something a bit more; I'd call it a "porky" flavor, not unlike fried pork rinds.  But disappointingly, there's no smoke, which is what would really make this product distinctive.  Upon leering at the ingredients list, I find that these Pop-Tarts have MSG added to them, probably for the meaty/umami flavor to make you think of bacon more.

In all, not bad at all, and a welcome change.

Pop-Tarts Frosted Maple Bacon:- Good
Original Pop-Tarts Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon(for comparison):- Great

Mountain Dew Spiked Lemonades

Product circa: early 2017

Mountain Dew really can't seem to give up on its image that it's somehow related to alcohol.  These two "spiked" products now make up a trio of recent Dew products that specifically have to spell out on the packaging that they are non-alcoholic.

Otherwise, these look to be an honest effort on Pepsico's part.  Real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  Real fruit juice added.  No artificial sweeteners.  Let's crack them open and get to sippin'!

Upon tasting, "sour" is the first term that might waft into your mind, or rather, smack you in the head.  The third ingredient in this product is citric acid, the fourth is a lemon juice concentrate, and the fifth is prickly pear juice.  The prickly pear is unnoticeable, but the raspberry pleasantly comes through in the Raspberry Lemonade.  Surprisingly, the regular Spiked Lemonade is better.

The balance is a little off, and the considerable tartness prevents you from tasting quite everything.  It's almost as if this stuff needs a bit more sugar... wait a minute... <looks harder at the ingredient list>

Sigh.  Let it be known that Mountain Dew Spiked is slightly bamboozling you here.  Because of the existence of Stevia, consumers need to be aware that "No Artificial Sweeteners" no longer means "No 0-calorie Sweeteners."  Spiked has both sugar and Stevia, and my taste buds suspected it from the first sip.

Maybe I'm biased, but it's my opinion that consumers can be divided into two groups on this subject: those who like 0-calorie sweeteners, and those who do not.  I don't think combining sugar and Stevia into one product magically bridges the gap between both market segments.

Everything from children's cereal, to baked goods, and now to soft drinks are using sugar-Stevia combinations to bring down calorie counts, and that's fine.  But what's not fine is not conspicuously labeling the addition of 0-calorie sweeteners.

Mountain Dew is choosing not to do that, and while it may increase the number of first time buyers, I bet it will decrease repeat buyers.  Buyers like this guy.


Mountain Dew Spiked Lemonade:- Good
Mountain Dew Spiked Raspberry Lemonade:- Passable

Filled Cupcake Oreo

Product circa: 2016

At first glance these seem almost satirical, as Oreo has been known to do.  However, Oreo has also taught me to not judge the cookies by the marketing, and so down my gullet they go!

The first bite would indicate that they don't taste much different than the original chocolate creme Oreo version.  After a cookie or two you finally notice that there's something different with the creme; for me, it somehow had a more noticeable hit of vanilla, maybe?

Anyway, if you open the cookie sandwich and examine the creme, you'll find the center has a whipped cream-like dollop.  The texture is different and it tastes great, but I think you'll lose all that between the thick creme and crunchy cookie.


Filled Cupcake Oreo:- Great

Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Surge (2014)

Product circa: 2014-2015

In my last post, I declared Crystal Pepsi as one of the most exalted discontinued food products of all time.  If there's anything that can creep higher than Crystal Pepsi on this list, it's Surge.

Surge was a soft drink created in 1997 in order to compete with Pepsi's Mountain Dew (Mello Yello just wasn't cutting it).  It took on the same tack as Dew, offering a brightly colored appearance, a mixed-citrus recipe, and a ton of caffeine.  Surge boasted an ingredients list containing maltodextrin, a substance added for extra energy from drinking the stuff.  Coke also marketed Surge using extreme sports, as have similar products.

With its aggressive marketing, energy drink-like benefits (in an era before most energy drinks), and its obnoxious green color, Surge took on a cult following more than mainstream appeal.  That fact bore out over the next few years, and Surge was discontinued in 2003.

A dull murmur for its return became a loud cry over the next few years.  Once Facebook was created, a group page was soon made to serve as a petition to bring back Surge.

A few years later, Coke created a spiritual successor to Surge called Vault.  The stuff was decidedly more like Mountain Dew than Surge, but it was delicious nonetheless.  Its run lasted over 5 years before Coke decided to fully get behind Mello Yello as their national "citrus" soda going forward.

In late 2014, Coke finally decided to bring back Surge for a time to sate the nostalgia that never seemed to die down.  It's a wonder it took so long.  How long will Surge be around this time?  I'm not really sure.  But the easiest way to get some is off of Amazon.com, and as of this posting, it's still available!

Does it taste just like it used to?  By my tongue, yes, and it seems the ingredients list is almost identical to what it used to be.  The flavor starts with a bold citrus note, just like all sodas in this category.  The mix of flavors is hard to pick out, but it most probably contains lemon, lime, orange, and grapefruit.  Surge distinguishes itself from the rest by concentrating on the flavor of lime, and "fake" lime, to be exact.  At the end of the sip you'll find a distinct sourness that really no other citrus soda has, along with a notable bitterness, most likely lent by its considerable caffeine content.  Truth be told, whenever Surge is once again no longer available, I might suggest looking toward Mountain Dew Baja Blast for a similar fix.

All in all, it's a delight to have Surge back to surf that wave of nostalgia.

Surge:- Great