Pina Colada Oreo Thins

Product circa: spring 2018

This is the third product in the spring 2018 Oreo poll product segment.

I don't think I've said it before, but I absolutely love Oreo Thins.  I've always been of the school that the less Oreo creme, the better.  Double Stuf Oreo was never great to me, and you can read about my thoughts on Mega Stuf Oreo here, where I fantasized about an "Half Stuf" Oreo.

Well, Oreo Thin is here for good, and thank god.  The wafers are cracker-thin, and the creme is a light spread.  The cookies crumble in your mouth without needing to use teeth.  In my opinion, the balance is better.

Anyway, the smell of these things is decided buttery.  This may simply result from the butteriness of the coconut, but it's also possible that there is a bit of added butter flavor to the cookies.  On the bite, the coconut becomes immediately apparent, and it will take you a few chews to notice the pineapple.  These are pretty tasty, but they're much too sweet.  They're lacking a tanginess that would really elevate them into something unstoppable.

In the end, Oreo Thins Coconut is now a permanent product, and I would rather have those.

Pina Colada Oreo Thins:- Good
Original Golden Oreo Thins:- Great 

Gatorade Flow Watermelon Mist

Product circa: summer 2018

Gatorade Flow has existed as an off-shoot of Gatorade for a few years now.  Supposedly Gatorade Flow products taste or finish "smoother" than the original drink.  Personally, I notice no difference.  With that said, some of the other Flow flavors have tasted just fine.

This stuff tastes exactly as you'd expect: liquefied watermelon candy.  I can't detect anything additional that would make it taste unique.  It's too sweet.  If they made it a bit more tart, it'd be a more refreshing and unique product.

Gatorade Flow Watermelon Mist: - Passable
Original Gatorade(Orange, for comparison):- Good

Firework Oreo

Product circa: summer 2017 & 2018 (and future?)

Oreo is really ramping up their creativity... perhaps because they're running out of creme flavors?  Anyway, this time they've injected un-branded Pop Rocks into the creme.  Why?  Well, why not?

I find these to be quite unpleasant.  Despite the fact that the creme tastes more or less the same as usual, the textural and physical manifestations of these ruin the entire experience for me.

The bite is normal, but once you start chewing, your teeth will crunch down on the rocks in the creme and it will give you the sensation of chewing on sand.  As your saliva touches the rocks, they will start popping, giving you the expected sensation as if you were eating the popping candy normally.  However, because the rocks are suspended in creme, some of them won't begin popping until you swallow.  It is at that point when you will distinctly feel the popping in the middle of your head, going down your throat.  I can almost feel it in my skull.  The sensation is unique and quite uncomfortable.

Even with the worst Oreos, I'll go back for another to relish in the disaster.  Not so with these.  Eating them is so unnerving that I can't stomach (or "throat", rather) more than one or two.

Firework Oreo: 0 Noms - Unpleasant
Original Oreo(for comparison):- Great

Mountain Dew Mango Heat

Product circa: Autumn 2016

More and more you'll find that food companies are adding spicy touches to products for which they're otherwise inappropriate.  I find this trend mostly boring, and I wasn't exactly excited when I cracked open this bottle.

This product was issued as yet another Mountain Dew Game Fuel, in recognition of the release of Titanfall 2.

Mango is much like its strawberry, watermelon, and banana counterparts: the flavor used in candy and beverages bears very little resemblance to how its natural version actually tastes.  With that said, I'm fine with how "fake mango" tastes.

Your sip will start with a very pleasing fruity flavor before you soon realize that, as this is a modern Mountain Dew variation, it uses 0-calorie sweetener along with sugar.  It takes a swallow to discern the spiciness that's added to the drink.  It's not unpleasant, but it's also not pleasant.  After a few sips I really start to enjoy the "fake mango" flavor(despite the sweeteners), which is the same as any other mango soft drink.  It's enjoyable stuff, and it would have been refreshing in the right circumstance, if it weren't spicy.

But so long as Pepsico keeps adding silly sweeteners to new products, they'll never garner more than 2 NOMS.


Mountain Dew Mango Heat:- Good
Original Mountain Dew(for comparison):- Great